tv deprived?

[ can someone please enlighten me: why do ppl press down at the lift/elevator when they actually want to go up..? ]

i may be out-dated or just not following the trend thats happening these days in the media. i shall, anyhow, declare it: i have not watched tv drama series for years!

literally 'years' since i moved to kl [ wait, the last series i remember watching was betty la fame - some foreign series ]. anywayz, since i moved out from home and stayed on my own, 'home' has no tv - unless you have your own in your own room. its not like one tv shared by everyone anymore. my parents can testify that i used to glue myself to the tv - to the extend where my grounding was no tv for a week. but now that i'm on my own, i have not watched alot of tv shows.

and with the current tv companies showing all the tv series - english, korean, hong kong - i have missed out even more. aside from the fact that by the time i reach home is around 8++pm [ considered early ], i dont really have much time to watch anything. [ movies in cinema is a different story ] so, when everyone around me is talking about one tree hill, 24, smallville, lost, etc etc.. i'm clueless. when everyone's talking about some character falling in love with another person, some character just killed someone.. i'm blurred. when everyone's talking about the next series thats coming and their prediction.. i'm lost.

its not that i have anything against tv series or that i'm that pathetic to be 'out-of-the-tv-world' but it just came to my realisation that, i have not watched tv series for a very long time. when i'm back to my own home, as usual, i'm glued to the tv. [ eh, need to 'pay back' the months i have not watched tv ] but when i try to watch the famous-talk-about tv series.. i'll switch to axn or travel & living after less than 10 mins.

of cuz shows like [ last time ] 90210, class of 98, ally mcbeal got me 'religiously' folllowing them and always got me day dreaming to think - what would it be like if that were to really happen to me? will a guy talk to me like how it is said in the tv? would i react the same way like in the tv when a guy approaches me? sigh.. it is very dramatic, to think about it.

since i dont have a tv series for me to follow, i guess i'll just follow my life's drama series. [ nope, jelly, no murder or split personality involved.. just coffee ] but think about it, what if my life [ or your's ] one day turn out to be a drama tv series.. how would it be like? what kind of character am i potraying?

oh well.. stay tune for the next episode of 'blurred about life's simple complexity' ;o)

ps.. having said all that, i do wish to get a plasma/lcd tv when i have my own place, of cuz.. hehe

song in head : searching my soul - vonda shepard [ theme from ally mcbeal ]

blurred christmas ramblings

there's a point in time when sometimes its good to just trash out everything at one shot. just for the fun of it.. well, okie.. just another excuse to update my blog when i'm not sure what to update.

christmas is around the corner and i'll be spending this yuletide season in KL..! [ oh, yippie..? ] not too sure if its a good thing or not, but after talking to my mum.. i realised, i dont want to spend my christmas in a 6 freaking hour bus ride! now, thats sad. well, of cuz i'll miss my family but then, i've got a 'family' here too that has taken care of me.. so, here's to this year christmas in KL..! whats my plan..? i havent gotten a clue yet.. hmm, i've got some voucher thats going to expire soon.... [ *dum dee dum dumm...* ]

christmas shopping can be fun :D that is of cuz if i'm loaded *sigh* this time for the first time i actually did my christmas shopping for a few days and i still havent gotten anything much. i'm lost for ideas. but i saw some pretty cool clothes and hats for myself, though.. hehehe

[ gotta focus on getting present for ppl, not for self.. focus, girl.. focus.. ]

[ okie.. i tried! ]

i bought for myself a book. my christmas present.. haha. Go Girl! by Mardee LeDai. sounds like a feminist-anti-guys kinda book? well, rest assured.. its about girls travelling - whether alone or with a partner, missions, business trip, holiday or just a trip down town. seeing God in all the trips that we go and just being a pilgrim on a pilgrimage. the book is a bit more focus for girls cuz girls are more adventures! yeah! hahaa.. okie la.. also cuz girls tend to think a lil too much when just planning a getaway. Go Girl! encourages girls to just live out for travelling dream, pack your bag and GO!

"So issue an invitation to yourself. Challenge the everydayness of the familiar. Take a trip. Go somewhere. Go anywhere. Go where nothing matters but the adventure itself." [ more ]

now.. where should i start my first travel.. i'm still thinking about places like bali, vietnam, nepal.. maybe terengganu, kelantan, labuan.. or maybe i'll just start off in the offskirts of kl.. any one interested? :D
[ and i'm at chap 4.. progress! i just got it abt 1 week ago.. haha ]

on the off note.. i learned.. that Scotts tissues is rough and bad for the nose.. Kleenex is nicer, softer.. better for runny nose and sneezes.. i guess now i can be singing rudolph the red nose reindeer if mine turn's red.. talk abt getting christmas present for myself!

how's your christmas mood coming along? share!

song in head : colors of love - boyz II men

its time

let it fill the air

and the hearts of every men

that its the time of the year

where christmas is to be celebrated

[ song in head : my grown up christmas list - clay aiken ]

jump! jump!

feeling light.. feeling like jumping.. feeling happy..!

reason..? nothing
not that i've got nothing to worry
not that i've got all my trouble gone
do i need a reason to be happy..?

=)

[ be coffeexified ]

song in head : on the street where you live - ost from my fair lady

out!

hahaha.. i'm out and out and out..!! *i'm lovin' it.. padappapadaap*

okie, to be exact i'm going to be on leave for a few days. [ yippie..!! *firecracker* ] i'm so looking forward for this break. i've got so many things that i want to do. so many things that i need to do. so many things that i wish i could do. hmm.. lets see..

1. camwhore [ for once a bit syiok sendiri ]
2. lepak [ when the whole world is working ]
3. shopping
4. go travel around KL
5. do some hse cleaning
6. change my wardrobe [ well.. dont think this can happen la ]
7. my long overdue writtings
8. christmas planning, other plannings
9. timeout session
10. do sth crazy .. maybe do these..?

one thing i love when i get to go out and just lepak, hand-loose is i can be in casual clothes and sometimes.. just sometimes, i can wear something i dont normally wear - no, no skirts! muahahaha.. also, i can just move around, do something with no specific agenda. no specific time to end my day. [ now i feel like jumping around ] anyone want to join..?? *grinning*

actual fact.. i've only got half the day to do all the crazy stuff. then UNITED LIVE will be coming to our church for concert.. well.. then my other stuff that i need to rush for - camps.

sigh..

so much for wanting to do all the crazy stuffs.. unless.. [ looking at calendar.. ] ;o)
have a fantabulous early weekend ahead..!!

song in head : i'm loving it - justin timberlake

sleepy friday

me : sigh..! seriously stoning..
friend : hahaha, go do something about it
me : ~o) .. tahaning till 2pm for it
me : initally suppose to be 3pm.. then 230pm..
friend : now 2pm lor... make history
me : ....... 10 more minutes.. 10 more minutes..

stoning at work today.. should i still lepak today after work..?
0_o"

anyways.. what is the best way to stay awake at work..? please share..!

[ not telling the answer to the mind teaser yet.. hehehe ]

song in head : the way you make me feel - michael jackson

blurred me..?

i've been reading some pretty interesting news..

it was under the perculiar posting in msn news and what caught my attention was.. it would have been more perculiar if he survived the blast.

wonder what was he thinking when he did that.. gosh.. madness..

------- [ coffeexicating ] -------

if ads were creative, its sure to catch someone's attention. and we're all asked to 'think-out-of-the-box' most of the time.

so, this Hong Kong ad to promo yogo was really an interesting idea to show flexibility.

and its definitely.. catchy.. not like i'm in any creative also la.. hehehe..

anyways, there's this other ad that i find it.. well, perculiar too..

Life-size stickers of people were stuck on automatic sliding doors at a mall in Mumbai, India. When someone approaches the doors move apart and it feels like the people on the door are moving away. The person enters to find the message 'People Move Away When You Have Body Odour'.

ouch..

------- [ coffeexicating ] -------

anywayz, here's a little quiz for you to try out..

Four people need to cross a rickety rope bridge to get back to their camp at night. Unfortunately, they only have one flashlight and it only has enough light left for seventeen minutes. The bridge is too dangerous to cross without a flashlight, and it’s only strong enough to support two people at any given time.

Each of the campers walks at a different speed. One can cross the bridge in 1 minute, another in 2 minutes, the third in 5 minutes, and the slow poke takes 10 minutes to cross. How do the campers make it across in 17 minutes?

hehehe.. i'll tell the answer the next time i post up something.. at the mean time..

coffeexified, y'all

song in head : take it all - hillsong united

dialing thoughts

will we talk again?
i have seen you from afar
i have heard of you for awhile
i have wanted to call you
when will we talk again?

something like my previous post but of a different view.. well, at least i think so.

when a friendship [ or a relationship ] is broken or distant for whatever the reason, i'm sure there are some thoughts that come across your mind..

thoughts of what happened in the past
thoughts of the smiles and laughters shared
thoughts of conversations and secrets shared
thoughts of what that person might have been doing
thoughts of how it ended [ fullstop ]

either its just me but i've think quite too much [ when i should be thinking of my work! ] but yea, just thought how friends relationship can be made and drifted just because of a wrong words, action or just no effort to follow up. and sometimes the hardest part is to build that relationship again.

time might be able to help to build that relationship again but it might not be the same as it used to be. the openess and the gap may be a lil different. but its still workable.

provided there's the initiative to start.

recently, i've met up with some extremely long lost friends. some when i was in highschool and to hear their updates, its amazing. and to calculate how many years we've not kept in contact - freaks me! [ shows that i'm actually getting older ] but i appreciate my friends that called me and we've kept in contact again. there's so much to talk about and just to update one another about their lives and their upcoming. teasing each other about the past goals that never achieved. and just to see how each of have changed from younger days to now, moving to adulthood. and the best part - to be able to meet up again.

but there's also some friends that i've met and heard from afar. friends that were once close and now drifted far. must i wait for a few more years again before we dared to talk to each other again? when will we talk again?

my mom told me that relationship is the most important thing in one's life. thats why we need to build our relationship with our Father too. but if we have problem building relationship with our friends we see, what about our Father thats unseen. well, just a thought on a blurred friday.

song in head : all over again - ronan keating & kate rusby

dinner at 8pm..?

went shopping a lil, got home from one whole day out, did some chores, suppose to meet up for dinner with some friends, then.. it rained outside. oh well, good time to just laze on my bed. then.. *beep beep*

friend : to your opinion, what would you define as a perfect date?
me : O_o hmm, main motive is just to spend time together. if about environment, maybe jazz music, not a crowded place, somewhere comfortable and coffee! hehe.. which hot chick you trying to date la? hehe.. (^_^)
friend : no movies kah? no la.. i'm just trying to understand girls better.
me : oh.. haha.. my advice is dont try to understand them, just love her and you'll know whats the perfect date to have with her.
friend : har? *sigh* sad to say but i hafta agree with you.
me : *grin*
friend : i guess at d end of da day, it's still down to da personality huh? whether can click or not, able to communicate or not.. go with da flow, baby
me : haha! main thing is if you really love her and she loves you in return la..
[ wah... like a script line from donno what lomantic movie ]
friend : uh huh.. but wanna spark it ma.. hehe

when my friend asked me that question, i was thinking - fine dining, wine, a performance, walk down the beach, all beautifully dressed up - those sorta stuff that you see from the movies. but then, every girl would define their perfect date differently. so, if we know what the other person would enjoy and i guess to see the smile at the end of the date, that would be the perfect date.

then it got me thinking, what would be a perfect date with my Father?

currently in church, we're doing 'hearing the voice of God' and how samuel really desired to be with God. how he really 'just wanted to spend time' with God. we could be spending time with God with our devotion, reading His word.. but at the same time, thinking about lunch, about the jacket you saw the other day, about what someone said, etc. so much for a 'perfect date' with our Dad, huh?

so, what's your definition of a perfect date?

[ this morning my friend asked me *again*, would you expect a flower from ur date? O_o ]

song in head : the way you look tonight - tony bennet

blur off days - kk pt 4

[ okie.. i might just continue blogging.. unless.. ]

i promise this will be the last about my KK trip. altho i've got tonnes of interesting experience there. haha.. i'm still waiting for the pictures from the others that went so, you'll have to wait together with me.. haha
okie.. a quick one..

after nearly breaking every muscle from the climb for a few days, we went white water rafting. my first time i totally love the experience - 10km, 7 wackos, 1hour in brown sabah river. hahaa.. we were screaming our lungs out, falling out from the raft swimming and being 'saved' by our guide. and i got a cert from that! haha..

when we going to the destination, we had to get on a train. it was really an ol' fashion train. said to be the fastest in KK [ cuz it was the only train ] and if you're lucky, you might just see some chickens or ducks on the train too! so, when we had to go back from the rafting place to the train station, the train broke down. we ended up waiting for 3 hrs before the we got on the train [ and missed the chance to eat crocodile meat. darn! ].

anyway, on the train, managed to catch up a lil with stephen - cuz the rest were dozing off. well, after the screaming and energy used while rafting, stephen slept on an empty seat. i was looking out the window - gazing at the fireflies and ponder on some thoughts.

thoughts about what has happened.
thoughts about what could have happened.
thoughts about why it happened.
thoughts about why it didnt happened.
thoughts about how can i make it happened.

oh well, ultimately, its about submitting my days to Him. whatever that has happened in the past has happened. many times i wished i could turn back the time and make the changes [ maybe like actually study for my spm..haha ] but now, to see what has happened as stories in my life.
not easy to submit especially when you want things your way, but its to have the trust in Him. so often that statement has been said and now its time to actually live it out. :)

[ want to know what i was pondering about..? hahaha.. over coffee la ]

other quick update on my kk trip

burn, baby burn : i had sun burnt. i didnt put enough sunblock and went swimming at the clear sea water - so smart of me leh. it was so burnt that i could still feel the heat after 2 days. my dahling hsemate had to help me peel my dead skin.. eeww... but it was fun. [ some #!*^%$ chinese girl in a mall asked me if i'm a chinese..!! ]

revelation : i found out a cool remedy. when you climb mount k, you're sure to have extreme muscle pain. go swimming. seriously.. swimming help ease the pain. you at least can walk properly - unlike a crab on labour. so yea.. so snorkel or swim or whatever. its really good.

so yes, thats for my kk trip experience. fuh~ syiokness.. i enjoyed myself.. but i dont think i want to climb the mount again. hahaha!

[ darn... cant upload my pictures.. oh well.. ]

song in mind : put your records on - corinne bailey rae

to or not to..?

to terminate my blog or not?

currently, my company just moved to a new place.. and i had some difficulty accessing blogger. proxy? firewall? whatever.. its not as easy as it used to be. so, it harder for me to blog now.

even now my current sitting place is not as.. erm.. secured, private as it used to be. so.. chances that i might stop blogging is higher..

i'll give it to end of this year and we'll see how it goes.

[ sigh.. need my 2nd cuppa already.. and there's not hot water dispenser here..!!!! ]

hugz

hugging is healthy.
it helps the immune system, cures depression, reduces stress and induces sleeps.
it's invigorating, rejuvenating and has no unpleasant side effects.
hugging is nothing less than a miracle drug.
hugging is all natural.
it is organic, naturally sweet, no artificial ingredients, non polluting, environmentally friendly & 100% wholesome.
hugging is the ideal gift.
great for any occassion, fun to give and receive, shows you care, comes with it's own wrapping and, of cuz, fully returnable.
hugging is practically prefect.
no batteries to wear out, inflation-proof, non-fattening, no monthly payment, theft-proof and non-taxable.
hugging is an underutilized resource with magical powers.
when we open our heart and arms, we encourage others to d othe same.

huggiez to y'all

song in head : the gift - martina mcbride & jim brickman

blur off days - kk pt 3

toured and visited

with muscle cramp all over me.. *sigh*

seriously, if anyone is planning to climb the mountain, i guess the best exercise anyone can do would be taking the stairs. and i mean ALOT of stairs. the whole journey up and down the mountain was like stairs everywhere! i underestimated myself thinking that coming down the mountain was easier than going up. well, technically it is but with the muscle cramp you had earlier, coming down is worst! but faster la..

anyway, we went around KK visiting a few places - philipino market, sutera harbour, jesselton harbour, waterfront. its really interesting to go to places and really be a tourist. we were walking around talking in hokkien and really acting like a 'jakun' fella.. haha..

i must admit, east malaysia is a very beautiful place. i was in kuching just a couple days before flying to kk and it really beautiful.

kuching - the place is clean, big and i love their bilin [ a kind of wild fern veg ]. their seafood is lovely and my client gave me 2 fresh water fish to bring back to kl..! first, i was shocked with their present. second, i dont cook! oh well, its the thought and my cell cooked it well. kuching or rather sarawak is known for the pepper industry. so, when i visited one of the souveneir shops.. they were selling alot of pepper stuff - pepper sweets, pepper jelly sweets, dark pepper chocolates, white pepper chocolates, chilli pepper sauce.. i was so tempted to buy the chocolates to let other ppl try but.. its okie. shall try not to be so adventures.

aside from that, i manage to look around at the houses in kuching.. fuh~! crazy madness.. its.. huge..! and i really mean huge..! oh.. beautiful too of cuz.

i didnt manage to visit much in kuching but i would love to go there and visit again. love to see the houses and the also taman sahabat [ frienship park ] .. its beautiful. any available tour guides?

kk - its more laid back and relaxed altho there are some jam during peak time. but what is jam if compared to kl crazy jam that can last for 3 hours! i love the fact that its near the ocean.. the harbour.. probably because i love beaches in general [ my next stop would be terengganu or kelantan beaches ]. i love their lemon drink, 'kit chai peng' [ lime with sour plum ]. cant get it here in kl unless i make it myself.. hmm.. going around with my friends were really the best. the wooden handy craft is beautiful and pearls! they've got fresh water pearls and ocean pearls and donno what other pearls sold in the philipino market! hahaha..

a few things about east malaysia that i can roughly conclude..

1. the land of the four wheel drives - my little kelisa is like a little ant there!
2. awesome seafood and really fresh - we can pick the fish that we want to eat!
3. the land of huge houses - too much land and really very nice.. *sigh* when can i get one..?
4. really fresh air - compared to kl la.. but with the current haze.. err...

i told ivan about my trip to east malaysia and i really enjoyed myself.. he said.. i should find an east malaysian husband.. (-.-")

i would really want to go to east malaysia again.. maybe to labuan? diving..? hmm.. anyone interested? ;o)

blur off days - kk pt 2

climbed and conquered..!

hah..!

after months of planning and no training at all.. i have climbed the highest mountain in south east asia. it was madness to climb it. walking and walking and walking and losing my breathe and gasphing every step.. only to realised i've walked for 500m.. and i had 6000m to reach the rest place. and another 2500m to the peak. sigh..

started off walking with some friends then it was with one friend.. the it was alone. well, occasionally i met some foreigners along the way and ben the squirrel. but it was good. the view and scenery was awesome.. literally breathe-taking, too..!

then it was the journey to the peak. i partnered with angela [ she's a great travel buddy ] and it was amusing how we encourage each other to go to the peak..

10 more steps.. 10 more steps..
breathing stop.. *pant pant* 0.o
gotta reach the top.. dowan to come back again for it..
it madness...
10 more steps.. 10 more steps..
jappos coming to overtake.. quick.. run..
dont let them overtake..! [ kiasu ]
breathing stop... deeeeeeeeeep breathe..
10 more steps.. 10 more steps.. hug..!!

and we did it..! muahahaha.. [ i couldnt take any pictures up the peak cuz my camera froze up there. now i feel like getting another camera.. *scouting* ]

the scenery was awesome.. mixture of rocks and clouds.. it was just awesome. reached to the peak took some photos and started our journey back to the camp area. as i was walking down, i was amazed at the journey down and i couldnt believe that i actually walked all the way up [ at 230am ]. the way was steep and long.. like really long. i dragged myself to go down.

that was the time that i wanted to scream my way down. i just wanted to scream and stay where i was and sulk [ for some reason ]. i just wanted to roll myself down.. the journey down was actually harder than going up.. anyway, dragged my way down with some help of the guide person.. he was afraid that i was going to fall anytime [ i slipped once, haha ]. he helped me walked on the easier path and *voila* i reached on easier steps down.

yet i didnt quite understand why i was so grumpy on the way down. probably cuz i'm just tired and lazy.. maybe i'm just fed up [ for no specific reason ], maybe the journey down was too tough, or maybe there's no goal to reach for already.

is this the same in life? when you have just reached the top to what you think you have achieved and when you're at the top and nothing's moving but just downwards.. how to handle that? when you think you have gotten what you wanted but you just got to let it go.. in order to move on.. how to handle that?

well, i guess it could be seen as another way. we all may have worked really hard to reach the top or to achieve it. and with all the craziness and madness trying to achieve it, there is a sense of fulfillment once we've reached it. there's the enjoyment, the excitement.

when actually.. what awaits is.. rest. to rest in His presence and relax. :)

hahaa.. yes.. thats what i learned from the climb up and down. it was seriously crazy coming down and i actually ended up having more muscle pain when coming down from the climb. i couldnt walk or stand straight.. it was as though a crab trying to walk straight with muscle pain..!

kinda think.. maybe the mountain conquered me back. O.o

song in head : climb every mountain - sound of music

blur off days - kk pt 1

i went east..

i have climbed..

i have swam..

i have rafted..

i had muscle cramps..

i had minor altitude sickness

i had mossie bites that still lasts..

i have sun burn and now peeling..

oh heck, i had a GREAT time..! ;o)

too much to say now.. let me get my mind nicely organized [ while i do the same for my overdue work ], then i'll tell what i went thru in the east.. *grinning*

song in head : private party - india arie

gulp!

i have no idea what have i just gotten myself into..

going to fly away from the city for a week
going to the east for the first time.. well, second actually
going to 'conquer' the mount
going to 'conquer' the skill of rafting
going to eat rare weird food

..

going to add my list of places been
going to torture my muscles and bones
going to burn my already dark tanned skin
going to test the optimistic side of me
going to try to be adventures

..

what have i gotten myself into this time.. any advice?

[ will be away for a week to east malaysia, kota kinabalu.. yippies + gulp ]

free..?

nothing's free..!
nothing's free..?
yea.. nothing's free..!
not at all..?
everything has a price to pay
or at least a catch to it.
then what does 'F.O.C' means..?
thats old stuff, unwanted, useless
there's nothing free in this world

a free biscuit given to you..?
thats for try out
a free meal given to you..?
thats for an occasion
a free ride given to you..?
thats for helping others
a present given to you..?
thats for birthdays
a free money vaucher given to you..?
thats donation but will still take it
a free blank cheque given to you..?
thats a bounched cheque or some hidden agenda
a free advice given to you..?
thats for guidance
a free passport to heaven given to you..?
thats pure crap and impossible
there's nothing free in this world
nothing's free..!

[ blurred post thoughts ]

i overheard my colleague talking about a scam he encountered in one of the mall's carpark, where he was given free gifts and well, it was a scam la. then they were talking on how there's no such thing as free things.

it got me to realise.. how to tell someone of the salvation in a world where the word 'free' is actually 'NOT free? what happened to the price that was paid for us by His blood for us for us to have a 'free' access to heaven..? would anyone believe in 'free' again..?

nothing's free..?

missed calls

[ was reading some blogs and well, just thought of some stuff.. in the midst of my work time. girls are multitasking..! dont argue.. *grin* ;o) ]

will we still be talking when we've lost it?
will we still keep in touch when its over?
will we still think of each other when its gone?
will we still do what we used to do.. together?

you can either inteprete that short stanza as a(n)..

love relationship breakup effects
it is only natural that it happens. i mean, 2 person together sharing everything together, all the talks and feeling they shared together and when its over *snap* everything else also ends. communication stops.. thoughts, action are 'supposely' to be forgotten and not-to-talk-about. i guess its what some would call it - healing moment. to heal from the hurt and pain..
but like what yasmin ahmad's tagline options - does friendship ends when love begins? when the love is over.. is the friendship over too..? how does it take to heal from dissapointments?

friendship forever - only if you online and stay nearby
i remember how i used to deco autograph books for my close friends in high school and we shared the best time together. cycling around and just hanging out together. but as the years goes by and everyone moved to different places, its hard to keep in touch with anyone. well, not unless you've got the internet but even so, not everyone goes online at the same time. and with new people that comes into our lives and the time spent together.. the older friends are sometimes forgotten.
i'm sure not fully forgotten but just left as memories. and when we 'try' to make an effort to meet up.. usually doesnt work.
i had the same conversation with my dahling hsemate and she was saying how ppl talk more online and just because others dont have internet, the friendship is not as strong as those who online. well, even though i'm on y!, msn and gtalk.. i hardly talk to everyone. makes no diff.
should i then delete their numbers from my mobile and just maintain them online?

unanswered cries
to God, that is. sometimes we just want to hear an audible voice, a confirmation, an affirmation. but when nothing is heard and nothing is done or the storms in life gets tougher.. thats when we blow up, leaving everything behind and doing things our way. and that [ possibly ] can backslide anyone easily.. well, yea.. many times we would say or sing that we will trust in Him, having Him as our desire.. a typical Christian answer la.. but when it really happens, will we start to move with the wave?

well, maybe not everyone goes thru this but i do with additional assumptions..

relationships - family, friends, loved ones, strangers - are important and clearly, the effect of it if it doesnt work out can be massive. there can be total silence between each other. like kids, we would be nice to the person but as soon as (s)he does something that you're not happy, we say 'i hate you'.. either verbally or quietly.

i guess, thats why God so wants to have the relationship with His children. but if the child wants to rebel towards God, then the relationship is jeopordized.. we jeopardized that relationship unintentionally. communication is just as important in a relationship.

then it brings to another conclusion.. it shows that friendship, relationship can be temporal.. and might not last long. what more if we only met that person once or if we will never meet the person anymore.

what impression are we leaving behind to everyone we meet and say goodbye..?

IMPACT..! what can one life do..?

[ tudiah.. chimness.. this is what happens when i finally got my timeout session. ]
song in head : dont know why - norah jones

blurred malaysian

merdeka..! merdeka..! merdeka..!!!!!!!!!!!!

independance day is tomorrow and its time to show the patrioticness part of me.. sleeping! haha.. i'm still recoving from my lack of sleep..

anyways, i was just browsing thru some blogs and came across some pretty interesting test to show.. the malaysian part of me.. *grinning*

How Malaysian are you? - The Challenge

Your score : 25 out of 45 (56%)

You’re there, but there’s plenty of room for improvement. To start off
your journey to becoming a true red-yellow-and-blue Malaysian, make sure you
don't forget those little Malaysian flags that purebreds stick on their cars on
Merdeka day.

not too bad, i figured.. about half of me lives out like a real malaysian [ eventhough the fact that i was born and lived in malaysia ]

then, i came across kennysia's and it was another interesting test..

Congratulations Fay, you are 33% not
Malaysian.

That means you're as Malaysian as...


Michelle Yeoh!

How Un-Malaysian Are You?

i'm like michelle yeoh..?!?! errm.. right.. i dont want a french (or whatever) husband that can be as old as my grandfather!

anywayz, if 56% of me makes me a malaysian and 33% of me does not.. what about the remaining 11% of me makes me..??

i know... here's my equation..

malaysian me - 56%
not malaysian me - 33%
blurred - 11%

hehehe... ;o)

happy merdeka, everyone..! kopi-o, y'all..!

[ my prayer is that may God continue to bless malaysia with His peace and blessing. and may His glory be revealed more each day. ]

coffee-ful

[ literally dragged myself out from the bed and decided to be in black since the weather was so tempting for me to sleep again. on top of that, i had a msg in the morning from my bro NOT to drink my coffee in the morning.. stoned all the way to work. anyway.. to cut the long story short.. i had STARBUCKS coffee from my bro this morning for work! as a prezzie.. special delivery in the morning.. yippie...!!!! ;o)

and everyone else in office is staring at my cuppa.. hehe ]


since i'm in a coffee-ful (as to joyful) mood.. i got a lil coffee destress email from my uncle.. thought i'd share it with you guys..

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university lecturer. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the lecturer went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups:
porcelain, plastic, glass, some plain-looking and some expensive and exquisite,
telling them to help themselves to hot coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the lecturer said: "If you noticed, all the nice-looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the better cups and are eyeing each other's cups."

"Now, if Life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it."

So please, don't let the cups drive you...enjoy the coffee.

coffeexified and coffeeful, y'all..!!


[ still very happy with my starbucks coffee *grinning* maybe i should wear black a lil more often.. hehe ]
song in head : i'm so happy.. oh, so happy [ improvised version of 'i'm so pretty' - Anger Management ]

nostalgic

for some that may have read my previous post, i've been thru some stress tiring time at work.

today, i'm a lil more relief as i'll be moving into another project soon, this week. and now that my previous project that i was struggling with is over and done [ except some occasional emails and calls from clients ], i have some time off.

so, i was listening to some old music - Frank Sinatra. a close friend compiled a whole collection of frank sinatra songs for me cuz i really like his songs [ thank you so much! really appreciate it alot! ]. well, it gives me a sense of relaxation and well.. swinging. hehe.. also, it makes me feel like my timeout session in starbucks.. me, coffee, oldie, book.. what better combination. ;o)

but.. since i cant go to starbucks for my timeout session [ yet! ], listening at work with silence around me.. this works good enough for me.

one thing i really enjoy about my timeout session is it gives me a time to reflect on what has happened. reflection on what has happened, what i've done, what i've been through. it allows me to have some time to myself.. well, probably coffee with my Dad. ;o)

dear Dad,

how are things? i really miss spending time with You. i mean, over coffee without the rush at my favourite spot. i think i know why starbucks is near the arrival hall.. cuz to see the joy of people meeting their loved ones over a cuppa.. priceless. its like when we meet up with You again in our own ways.. its a priceless feeling, huh? yea.. i want that again.

i've got so much to say and yet i dont know how to arrange it. i dont know how to word it. i dont know how to express it. *sigh* a mixture of feelings now. haha..

well, just though i'll drop a note to You, Dad.. i miss you.

your blurred kid,
-[ eshnah ]-

listening to: frank sinatra - it was a very good year

seeing things differently..

regular paper clips now have faces.. :D

[ eh.. i'm very busy at work, ok.. i just need to destress myself. ;o) ]

blurred random shots

one of my many random pictures.. (^.^)

i'm suppose to be there to see her.... theresa, quick bring her here..!!!!! *sigh*

blurred july update

well, not that i didnt blog at all in july.. but july felt soooooo long. in actual fact, july is the only month with out any public holidays.. (revelation...? haiyah, just check the calendar la)

too many things happened in july and yet, i feel like i've been doing the same thing the whole month. hahaha..

looking out
just last saturday, a young TARC student was slashed by 2 guys on a motorbike. he died minutes after that. he was apparently walking his way back to his condominium around 8++pm when he was attacked.
this happened just about 10 mins walk from my place.

i've walked and jogged at that place before. i've walked at night at that place before (not alone la).

well, things like these happen but it just didnt occur to me that that the young guys (age 18) got killed somewhere near where i stay. there are other 'common' incident - snatch thieves, but i've not heard of this for the past 3 yrs staying there. scary but anyhow, i pray that the blood of Jesus will protect everyone that stays there. also that the devil will not dominate the place..!!

a taste of relaxation
i had a foretaste of my relaxation last weekend with wai yi and we just chill out kau-kau in the curve. (didnt have my camera with me cuz 'someone' is still holding unto my camera battery charger!!) had sushi, listen to a dude singing green day's september - seriously, he's good.

then we watch Lady in the Water - M. Night Shyamalan. because...!!! tokyo drift is no longer drifting in the cinema..!!! *darn!*
but the movie was good. my 2nd m.night shyamalan movie. hahaha

[ for those planning to watch it, just go for it! its quite a typical m. night shyamalan kinda show. the show is about a bedtime story.. ;o) ]

there and then
had a few trips down memory lane while talking to my friends. talked about the people i met in college, all the funny things that happened. talked about the high school days when i usually wear big t-shirts.. (talk about fashion taste!)

also, talked about sports.. gosh, now i really miss playing tennis. not that i'm that good or anything but i just miss whacking the ball really hard. its a good way to de-stress yourself, though. miss going for tournaments and having the smell of sunblock the whole day long.
miss the early morning training and evening games.
miss squeezing and getting a tennis court - cuz its usually full. [ well.. talk about being physically fit! haha.. ]

uncle siva..!!! can come to KL and play tennis kah? i've got my tennis racquet here.. probably need to change the grip and strings.. a lil karat-ed. hehe


oh well, i guess i'm in KL now.. better make the best of it.. haha..
moved on to the working world, memories in the past will cherished.. :)


[ emo or not..?? hehehe.. well, how often you get that from me, right..? *grin* ]

belief..? believes?

i'm confused and this time really blur about life.

i'm not too sure why is it such a big things? and its published in the papers.. is it suppose to be some kind of reminder to everyone to start staying at home or a tourism strategy?

i was talking to one of my colleague cuz she just gave birth to her first child..


me : eh, bring your baby out for us to see la. since pictures tarak, show the actual 'product' la
colleague1 : cannot la. people say that she's not fully developed yet. scared got the outside virus and her body cannot tahan.
[ huh? and i tot virus and bacteria can go thru any tiny hole in the universe? ]
colleague 1 : anyway, now hungry ghost so better not to go out. later the ghost will disturb my baby.
me : err. okie (changing topic) my sister also giving birth soon.. next month! :D
colleague 1 : oh really.. so good la..!
colleague 2 : it (hungry ghost) only imply in err.. china, taiwan and.. malaysia.
me : O.o *blurred*
colleague1 : yea hor.. the chinese ghost only disturb chinese ghost. US ghost disturn US ppl only hor *giggle* but donno why the US ppl not so effected by it.
me : well, its more on what you choose to believe mar.
colleague 2 : its better to believe it in than not to believe in it at all.
colleague 1 : yea yea..
me : huh..?! well.. its really what you CHOOSE to believe. i choose to BELIEVE that the ghost will not disturb me and ..
colleague 1 : ahh.. that's because you're a Christian.. different!
me : har..!?! O.o *maximum blurrified*
colleague 2 : it is a very sensitive issue.. better dont talk about it liao..
[ conversation ended ]


i'm still stunned..!! i mean, why do they believe that the ghost will disturb them when they can choose believe that the ghost will NOT disturb them.

then it made me so want to ask them.. why do you believe what you believe..? do you believe just because everyone else is..? because thats what everyone said..?

*sigh*

[ speechless ]

well, i must then THANK GOD for giving me this realisation and to even build my believe stronger..
1st hand faith.. a personal faith.


[ something really cool to look and read.. http://www.art4soul.org/work/ghost/01.htm ]

blurred blurts random thots

deprived from entertainment.. need to go shopping and relax..
for some reason, i really want to just hang out in a mall.. or somewhere.. (with someone/people maybe? you figure.. muahaha!)
lousy fella been enjoying too much lately..
while me still stuck with work.. *sigh*
got presentation on something that incomplete..
need to work on my 'consultant' talk more.. hmm.. :D

i've now got wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeels.. yippie!!!!
know what is it..? *nyek nyek*

sometimes i wish i was in the media/entertainment line..
sometimes i wonder why i took up IT..
sometimes i wonder if i can integrate IT and media/entertainment together..
sometimes i wonder what would it be like working for event organising firms..hmm..
sometimes.. i've got to stop day dreaming..

saw this blog style in Jelly's blog... should i try it too..?? hmmmm.. maybe after august.
talking about style.. should i change my style as well..?
any suggestions..? ;o)

hmm.. thinking of piercing another earring...

thinking of the beach..
wanting to go to the beach..
anyone want to go to PD anytime soon..? *grinning!*

still waiting for my icecream....... :P

seriously coffeexicated!




.....

*fuh..* that felt better.. now back to work....
i've got a few ideas on things to post already.. just need to find the time.. hahahaha..

[ feel free to blurt out something here.. its fun! serious.. ;o) ]

football fever

and the world's talking about it.. seriously.

at nearly every place, regardless of the weird hours.. everyone will be staying up to watch the world cup. even if the match is at 3am and work starts at 9am.. (or even church service on sundays! ehhehe). and heard that some shops in germany are closed for the world cup fever.

seriously fever, man!

the main headlines is now the World Cup scores. mobile services giving out the world cup scores for each match. everyone's selling anything that has to do with the teams playing in the world cup. or even, some people talked abt it and get freebies for doing that!

well, not that i have anything against it. it just amazes me. world cup is way more happening than the olympics! and other sports that are happening around (like the French Open) are not so happening.. probably just me cuz i dont really follow the news. well, you dont see the world going frenzy when the Wimbledon is in action.. (hmm.. maybe when the russian chicks are playing.) other than that.. not as crazy as World Cup.. amazing.

i was taking a cab to the train station last weekend and yes.. i talked to the cab driver (again!). this time, he didnt teach me about marriage.. but rather, ended up talking about football. world cup in particular. talked about the brazilians, the french, the germans (they won! and i am getting FREE icecream for that! yay!! :D ). pretty interesting conversation. he talked about how people bet during such games. and especially how the whole had their confidence in brazil to win.. and when the brazilians lost.. fuh~! the devastation...

well, it was a short trip so, yea.. a short conversation too. we had a nice conversation.. though he was the one that did most of the conversation.

oh.. forgot to add.. the whole conversation was in.. cantonese. those who knows me well enough.. my cantonese is only those simple verbs.. well.. thank God for football having 'quite' a universal language - the teams name. hahahahaha..

now that my favourite team, brazil, is out.. who should i support? the germans..?? considering that i am going to get a FREE ice-cream for their win over argentina.. wowh..!

*grinning*

[ ps.. interesting site.. http://www.jesusandtheworldcup.com/ ;o) ]

break of day

break of day
Originally uploaded by faycheng.

on my way to work and this is what i saw in the morning..

Good Morning, Lord..!

over coffee: when God laughs - part 1

[ its not the first time someone has writen about this but its just something from me. ]

A father carries his child into his arms. He looks into his child eyes. And he smiles. Showing funny faces and funny sounds but she looks at her father in puzzlement. She can't help it but to start a giggle. She laughs. Then, both father and daughter starts laughing together.

Every parent loves to see their child smile. What more if the child gives the biggest smile and laugh. Instantly, parents would be smiling too. Well, I'm not a parent yet (one day, i pray!), but seeing a kid around with a big smile, i can imagine what a joy it would be.

It is the same with our Father, too. He constantly would want to see us in smiles and laughter. Imagine, when He first saw Adam walking around the garden of Eden and exploring everything around. Adam would have gone really near to the skunk. To his puzzlement, the animal has a white stripe on it with a rather bushy tail. He decided to go nearer and thought he could pat the little creature since the dogs and cats allowed. As he got closer, suddenly.. Adam ran as fast as he could from the skunk coughing. Thats when he realised that it stinks!

Or when Adam decided to take a dip in the river in the first morning he was in the garden. Since he enjoyed himself the day before, he walked slowly and probably still half asleep towards the river. As soon as his body got onto the water, he was wide awake and started jumping around because the water was feezing cold.

And imagine, when Adam was in deep asleep, and God decided to prepare a suprise for him. He took one of his rib bone and created the most beautiful creature with elegance. Created every single part and chose the best character because He knows best what Adam likes. Morning came and God showed Adam the 'suprise'. Adam speechless, smiling from ear to ear and couldnt keep his eyes away from whom God introduced as Eve.

Imagine how God would be laughing.

I believe that God is still looking down at us and well, still laughing at us too. As a Father looks at His child. With all the little funny gesture, actions that we do, brings amusement to Him. With our laughs and joys, I'm pretty sure that He is smiling with us too.

As a child to my parents, I would want to see them smiling at me too. And to laugh with me. For at least I know I'm not subject to any problems or grounding. We would talk over dinner or on the way to somewhere of funny incidents that happened. Well, most of the time, my dad or my mom would start teasing each other and occasionally, I would tease both of them. I remember once when my sister decided to lie on top of me (in a way squash me) just to wake me up in the morning. I would scream and pretend that my fats are squeezed out and that I was going to be paper thin. My mum would just say, 'Haiyoh!' and goes away laughing.. (not helping out of the situation! sigh). But to hear laughter in the morning or any time of the day, is always the best medicine.

But the hard part is, how do we maintain smiling at all time? In time when we are challenged, sad or just being-grumpy.
How do keep ourselves smiling and our Father smiling too?

[ to be continued.. ]

argh!

yes..
i'm in a midst of rushing for my documentation, i have alot of testing and documenting to do.. and all to be completed by today.. well, monday to be the latest.

i have couz tonight, church activities tomorrow and on sunday as well. is there enough time?

my fault.. i should have done it earlier but i didnt. sigh! talk about pulun-ing (malay slang for rushing)

..... brains not really focusing ..... ("-.-)


when this documentation is done.. i'm going to..
1. shop kau-kau
2. get new pairs of shoes
3. go for movies - still wanting to watch tokyo drift!
4. lepak somewhere kau-kau
5. have my long lost timeout session
6. scream my lungs out
7. sleep kau-kau
[yes.. i'm just motivating myself now..]

sigh...

still... i have to do whats infront of me now.. first...!
blurpoint: how do you guys handle stress?



coffee anyone..?? i think i'm going for my 2nd cuppa soon...

one of my many 'stress-and-donno-what-to-do' post.. no worries..i'm still.. blurry coffexicated.

blurred moments update

a short quick one..

had a few huge moves in a month - church, work, and life!
"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. - 1 Corinthians 10:13"

more to come? probably.. well, i like what my mom says about problems.. they're God filtered.
if God allowed his people to wonder in the wilderness for 40 yrs,
if God allowed Jonah to be swallowed by a big fish,
if God allowed the flood to come for 40 days,
if God allowed Job to go thru challenges,
if God allowed Jesus to be hung..
so.. what's your/my problem?

easy said than done.. well, who said life was easy? but life can be fun! *grin*

all that i do
"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. - 1 Corinthians 10:31"

imagine doing everything, i mean everything! eat or drink.. do it for the glory of God.. not just when we are with people or when we are in ministry.. but everything! *sigh* something i still need to remember cuz many times i may/have hurt others without realising.
but still, i guess it is also to see God in everything that happens is something we tend to forget..

erm.. to see God when we drink? ;o)

blurred snap
i should probably really consider taking another hobby seriously.. hahaha. i was taking some pictures during my company's function - using my colleague's expensive camera. hehe.. ada gaya. i have not taken so many pictures in one function before. and my hands actually hurt more than me playing 4 games of bowling! i learned..

• taking pictures without flash is nicer, but tend to be blurry in low lighting
• taking still objects is easier than people - cuz they move too much! *frust*
• taking candid shots are fun!

but then i also realised..
i'm not in the pictures at all.... *hmmmm..*

oh well.. thats my update.. as for now.. and now, i really need to catch up on my documentation which i am so so so behind schedule..

coffee, anyone?

coffeexified...

Mocha Frappuccino

Hyper and driven, you'll take your caffeine any way you can get it. Frappuccinos are good, but you'd probably chew coffee beans in a crunch!

What Flavor Frappuccino Are You?

*********
coffeexified, y'all..!!

;o)

i am ... years old

You Are 18 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

****
louziness.... no wonder people think i'm still in college.. heck, someone actually thought i was still in highschool...

louziness..!!! *bleah..!* :P

cramp

i is trying to cramp all my thoughts in one post.
i is trying to update my blog.
i is attempting to blurrify me readers.

fun! hahaha

random musing 1
kids these days are seriously very smart. was just talking to a 9 year old kid about IT stuff - gigabytes, megabytes, mp3, file transfer. and this kid even knows what's a gynecologist! i didnt even know there were names for such doctors till i was in college (i think). they're too smart. sigh.. whatever happened to adults fooling them with craps and they believe it. *sigh*

random musing 2
was travelling back from church to home by cab and the friendly guy taught me a thing or two about marriage.

cabbie: girl, next time you want to find a husband, you must make sure you check his background. his family background. everything. then when you two want to buy a house or any property, make sure you insist to have your name together. at least your name is in the property also. then if anything happened, he cannot disturb you cuz your also own part of the property.

me: *??!?* err.. yea, check his background but if we're going to get married, should have faith that nothing will happen and if it does, should work it out, right?

cabbie: yes, but you donno what can happen. people say love is blind. you check the dictionary. i am saying that you must be prepared if something bad happen.

me: (wah.. which dictionary la?) yea, uncle.. but they also say 'love never fails' (putting biblical truth) and..

cabbie: haiyah, you donno wan. when ppl in love, everything is like a fairy-tale but when get married, thats when life actually begins.

me: yea, life as two ppl living together and....

cabbie: next time, i tell you, when you pregnant 8 or 9 months and your husband wants to go out, you also follow him cuz you donno, when he go out other girls will woo your husband cuz you're not there. when you go out with him, they will know that he got a pregnant wife. cannot disturb wan..

me: *speechless and stunned*

i was too tired, stunned and speechless to counter back. he continues to talk about how i should make sure i got enough money, education to support myself if my 'husband-to-be' leaves me. apa ni..!?
i wanted to say 'if you wanted to marry the person, you should believe that you are going to be together grey-headed and not when s/he is going to leave you' or at least talk about 1 cor 13.. but he didnt stop talking. *sigh*

how would you handle that kind of situation..?

random musing 3
following up a little on yasmin ahmad's mukhsin production and seriously, i cant wait for it to be done. well, it is still in the very early stage la. a movie about orked's (character from her previous show 'sepet' and 'gubra') first love.

yasmin ahmad's coming out with the tagline for the show and one of her tagline was really interesting.. 'does friendship end where love begins?'

i would say.. it is possible. depending on the individual-la. but so far, from the ppl that i know, it takes awhile to build the friendship again if love ended.. what do you think?

NO, I'M NOT GETTING EMO! :P it just my random musing la.. hahaha..

oh well, tell me what you think.. :D

over and done. something new

time passes
days come
events happens
memories kept
both sweet and sour
sweet to smile
when dark clouds overwhelms
sour to learn
when the storm is coming
but whatever it is
has happened and done
remember the events
forget the pain
and look up

the old are kept
maybe thrown
but will deeply cherish always
the new are displayed
maybe in use
but will forget it someday
pack the old in a box
have space for the new
to learn something new
but whatever it is
has given and received
remember the gifts
forget the price
and look up

all that has happened
it over and done
its unchangeable
so
look ahead
we're yet at the top
move on
expect better things
hang on
there's more to come
trust Him
He knows what He's doing
all for
His love for you

playing: can i go now (jennifer love hewitt), be myself again (eric benet)

animal planet

ever wonder whats the difference between a lamb and a sheep? and whats the significance these animals are mentioned? along together with goat and ram?
well, i guess not EVERY single things in the bible are to be interpreted literally but just wonder.. whats the difference..

i looked up the dictionary and here are some of the definition:
lamb - young of the sheep, innocent mild-mannered person; dear person; without resistance or protest
sheep - grass eating animal kept for its flesh as food - mutton - and its wool, (and interestingly.. the dictionary quotes this) separate good and bad person -> Matthew 25:33 (as to differ from sheep and goats)

so.. lamb is the young of the sheep (clear enough). blurpoint 1#: when Jesus said, '.. i know my sheep and my sheep know me (john 10:14)'.. what about the lamb? does it mean that only the sheep - ie, a matured christian - can hear and know Jesus? well, in a way it does makes some sense cuz (my thinking, my thoughts, my intepretation) only when you're older that you can discern and identify with a familar voice. for example, a babe may respond to anyone that calls their name while an older child can recognize better their parent's voice.

it is also mentioned in john 21:15-18, when Jesus resurrected and talked to peter. He said in order.. 'feed my lambs - v15', 'take care of my sheep - v16' and 'feed my sheep - v17'.
Jesus mentioned about the lamb first then the sheep twice.. so, to my understanding.. its, we should guide the young christians, take care and guide the matured christians well.. and only a matured christian can help other matured christian.. right? and we need to be matured christian - hebrew 5:12-14.

then another question: why is Jesus mentioned as the Lamb of God..? why lamb and not sheep? well, this is when i think the second definition of lamb is more appropriate. not that Jesus is young lad (heck, he is most matured compared to anyone of us!) but because of his 'innocent mild-mannered person; dear person; without resistance or protest' character that he carried even to calvary. hmm.. then no wonder lambs are usually used for sacrifice.

hmm.. then, what does this verse mean? Isaiah 5:16-17

But the LORD Almighty will be exalted by his justice,

and the holy God will show himself holy by his righteousness.
Then sheep will graze as in their own pasture;
lambs will feed among the ruins of the rich.

blurpoint: the sheep (meaning matured christians?) will have their own property and the lamb (meaning younger christians?) will have to settle for what the rich dont want?

ps: sometimes i tend to ask questions and answer it myself or cause others to be blur with me.. hahaha.. no doubt why i'm blurred most of the time.. hahaha ;o)

Dear God

Dear God Dad..

i prefer to call You 'Dad' instead. closer feeling and more personal. well, you are my Dad afterall and since i'm your child, i guess you would have known me inside out. but anyway, i just though i'll write you a letter to you.. been ages since i last wrote one anyway. i think it was.. first year in college? never gotten the chance to post it.. its still lying in my drawer (somewhere).

anyway, how are you Dad? hows things over there? are the angels singing and rejoicing more than last time or have they lost the chance to sing cuz the people here are all confused. there's so many things happening here that people are asking more questions about you, Dad. media's been showing some news and shows that attracts them than to the church. well, i've read some of the books and its really very interesting. are those creativity from you, too..? well, i guess you do have you ways to train us to be stronger, right? i just hope some dont drop-out from the training but to continue to persevere.

sometimes i guess holding on can be a tough thing to do and to last long. i know how it feels when i was hiking up raub last weekend. gosh, i so wanted to give and screamed cuz the path was so narrow and i keep slipping down and the journey seemed endless.. but with a push from the back and a pull from the front of me, they've definitely helped me through.. really. and when i reached the top with the rest of the team.. it was just that sense of.. achievement.. i guess thats why you said 'Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work'. hmm.. so, that is why Jesus did called his disciples to go out in pairs to spread the news, too.. right, Dad? well, then.. i'm grateful for all the people that you have introduced in my life. somehow, one way or another, they've helped me with a push and a pull.. (hey guys, thanx for everything.. appreciate you guys tonnes!).. ;o)

Dad.. is it hard for you to make decisions? i mean..well, more like i wonder.. do you have to make decisions up there. i guess you have too, huh.. most obviously harder than mine. recently i've got to make some decisions that i dont know what to do. i dont know what choice to make. sometimes, i wish you would just zap me to somewhere.. hahaha.. well, then i would be like jonah.. i dont think i want to smell fishy. well, i'm trusting you with it, then.. help me, Dad.. i really need your help. thanx, Dad.. :D

the sunset is coming, Dad.. so it means, the day is almost over. it was great spending time with you.. well, writing to you, to be specific.. :) thank you for listening.

i love you, Dad..

your blurred kid,
- eshnah - ;o)

interesting facts 3# - comparison

an email from a friend..

IN PRISON - you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.
AT WORK - you spend most of your time in a 6X8 cubicle.

IN PRISON - you get three meals a day (free).
AT WORK - you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it yourself.

IN PRISON - you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK - you get rewarded for good behavior with more WORK.

IN PRISON - a guard locks and unlocks the doors for you.
AT WORK - you must carry around a security card and unlock open all the doors yourself.

IN PRISON - you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK - you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON - you get your own toilet.
AT WORK - you have to share.

IN PRISON - they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK - you can not even speak to your family and friends.

IN PRISON - all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work at all.
AT WORK - you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.

IN PRISON - you spend most of your life looking through the bars from the inside wanting to get out.
AT WORK - you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

Humm? Which Sounds Better?

i think i still prefer work.. at least i get paid to do work.. ;o)

blurred esh turns 1

just realised when i was looking for an old post and i just realised.. i started blogging last year may..! so, i blog is actually 1 year old as at 12 may! (as of tomorrow-la)

interesting how times flies now.. hahaa.. just when i keep thinking 'what to blog' or 'when on earth can i find time to blog'.. i've turned one! hmm.. not sure if thats a good thing or not, now..

but anyhow, i've had the joy of blogging.. people discovering me from my blog, people finding my blog, me telling things thats in my head but that i think its fun to crap about.. hahaha..it a joy ;o)

how am i celebrating my one year of blogging.. havent a clue yet (sadly).. any ideas?

blurred facts : #1

i is love to talk and people actually gets blur when i is talking.


**********
just thought i start something like this. just some random stuff about me that some may know or may not know about me.. no worries.. they're all good... well, to me la.. haha..

can i..

you know, when you're not suppose to do something and yet, all the more you want to do it.
or rather..
when you're sick and you're not suppose to eat some stuff and yet, all the more you crave to eat it.

i'm not sure if that happens to you but it happens to me all the time.. like now.
i was back to my little kampung for about a week and it was just great time relaxing and lazing around.. hey, i needed a break after the late night working for over a week.. haha.. well, was back home, watching extremely alot of tv, sleeping alot and eating alot too! had some food that i've been wanting to have for the longest time too.

then.. it ended. i'm now back at work and again, my calendar is filled with all the due dates i need to complete my work. and to add to it, my voice is slowly cracking off. its like, it finally wants to have its break, too! drinking loads of water now but at the same time, me is feeling like eating spicy food and chocolates.. yumms.. *grinning*

why do we do that? i mean.. why do we sometimes want something that we know its not good. *blurred*

during my 1 week break, i've been watching Miami Ink. a show about 5 friends that opened a tattoo shop (these days, reality tv can be almost about anything!). and while i was watching it, gosh.. i wish i could have a tattoo, too.. a small abstract type. more people these days are getting tattoo, too.

well, biblically, we are not allowed to tattoo our body.. and i can agree if its those type of tattoo that are shape of skulls or some other images. but what if someone has a tattoo of a cross? or what if those old military time, (assumption) that they had to tattoo their id to identify themselves, are they considered breaking the bible..?


i guess.. this page answered my questions.. *grin*

messed-up blurred thoughts

have too many things in mind and too many things to say but too little time to express and too lazy to type. i think i really need to have the discipline to post things up.. anywayz, i'll try to post whatever that i can remember that i wanted to post. haha..

******
days and month seems to pass by so fast.. either that or its because i've given a load of due-dates for my work and i'm rushing for them. just recently i'm in the new project and next thing i knew was the due-date to deliver the project is in june.. i'm still involved in my previous project and i'll be bzier end of this month. and with all the other events coming up (with church, home, friends) makes me feel like the day is shorter each passing day.. eeks! was just talking to james and he said he felt this year is passing by really fast. hmm.. so, is the day spinning faster or just our mind getting slower? hahahaha! but ironically, a friend of mine who's in college and waiting to go to scotland told me, 'its only the begining of the month-la' .. *snap* so, does only working people feel time passes by faster? hahaha..

******
well, with all the hecticness and craziness thats blowing my mind away.. the weather is also getting a lil bit crazy. it can be scorching hot in the afternoon and a sudden pour in the evening. just the other day, when i was at work.. i felt so 'productive'. i literally read the newspaper from cover to cover the whole day. not that i had no work to do but my notebook had virus and it took the whole day for my office IT doctor to remove it.. left work at 6pm sharp (since the server had virus too) and on the way back, it started to pour.. really heavy rain. i had cell group that night and there were alot that couldnt make it, so it was quite a bummer. rain continued to pour with lightning and thunder. it was really loud. but as i was heading back home, i saw something that just took my breath away..

a rainbow in the sunset light in the midst of the heavy rain.

its was beautiful. and suddenly, i was just reflected that God is really there in the storm and not only after the storm. He was there all the while..

'When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You, above the storm
Father, You are king over the flood I will be still and know You are God' ~ Still by Hillsong

******
can anyone tell me the meaning to the song 'sometimes when we touch - dan hill'.. the first verse is like.. 'you asked me if i loved you, and i choked on my reply.. i rather hurt you honestly than mislead you with a lie..' but the following chorus and stuff.. says hows the writer wants to hold her till they die.. (or something like that). so is the song a happy-get-together song or a sad-breakup song? haha.. i've heard the song a couple of times recently and it just struck me.. what's the meaning to the song? anyone the understanding? hehe..

well, i guess i actually manage to post something.. amazing! hahaha.. will attempt to do this more often. anyone got any interesting topic for me to think about for me to post? ;o)

oh! by the way.. HAPPY EASTER..!! (but no holidays for me today.. *sigh*)