blurred about life"s simple complexities

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Dear God

Dear God Dad..

i prefer to call You 'Dad' instead. closer feeling and more personal. well, you are my Dad afterall and since i'm your child, i guess you would have known me inside out. but anyway, i just though i'll write you a letter to you.. been ages since i last wrote one anyway. i think it was.. first year in college? never gotten the chance to post it.. its still lying in my drawer (somewhere).

anyway, how are you Dad? hows things over there? are the angels singing and rejoicing more than last time or have they lost the chance to sing cuz the people here are all confused. there's so many things happening here that people are asking more questions about you, Dad. media's been showing some news and shows that attracts them than to the church. well, i've read some of the books and its really very interesting. are those creativity from you, too..? well, i guess you do have you ways to train us to be stronger, right? i just hope some dont drop-out from the training but to continue to persevere.

sometimes i guess holding on can be a tough thing to do and to last long. i know how it feels when i was hiking up raub last weekend. gosh, i so wanted to give and screamed cuz the path was so narrow and i keep slipping down and the journey seemed endless.. but with a push from the back and a pull from the front of me, they've definitely helped me through.. really. and when i reached the top with the rest of the team.. it was just that sense of.. achievement.. i guess thats why you said 'Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work'. hmm.. so, that is why Jesus did called his disciples to go out in pairs to spread the news, too.. right, Dad? well, then.. i'm grateful for all the people that you have introduced in my life. somehow, one way or another, they've helped me with a push and a pull.. (hey guys, thanx for everything.. appreciate you guys tonnes!).. ;o)

Dad.. is it hard for you to make decisions? i mean..well, more like i wonder.. do you have to make decisions up there. i guess you have too, huh.. most obviously harder than mine. recently i've got to make some decisions that i dont know what to do. i dont know what choice to make. sometimes, i wish you would just zap me to somewhere.. hahaha.. well, then i would be like jonah.. i dont think i want to smell fishy. well, i'm trusting you with it, then.. help me, Dad.. i really need your help. thanx, Dad.. :D

the sunset is coming, Dad.. so it means, the day is almost over. it was great spending time with you.. well, writing to you, to be specific.. :) thank you for listening.

i love you, Dad..

your blurred kid,
- eshnah - ;o)

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