* dum dee dum dumm.. *

too many times i have tried to update the blog, tell of my thoughts.
too many times i get caught up with other things.. events.. people.
too many times i neglect some stuffs thats closest to me
until its too late.

i'm trying

yes..i'm still alive and very much well. a few events had happend. some good and some bad. anyhow, i'm thanking God for what has happend. it is kinda amazing how sometimes simple events - that sometimes doesnt interest others - means the most to us. it is afterall a personal encounter.

no worries, i'm not trying to sound too deep - altho, my dahling housemate always think i am. maybe its my superpower.. fuh~ too much of Heroes. hehe..

i did have a few things in my mind that i have been wanting to tell it out but so far, with the time that i have, i will try. lets just hope it's soon.

at the mean time, i'd like to hear from you. tell me what has happened since you last visited here. its been awhile, dont you think? :)

coffee?

drum rolls, please

i know nothing about drums or any musical instruments but hey, at least i know how to enjoy music.

in conjunction with our country's 50th year of independence, almost every event thats happening has "50" in it.

drummerforchrist will be having a big thing going on. they'll be playing the drums for 50 hours - non stop! and not just one of them.. a few..! talk about being loud.. starting on the 31st August at Sungai Wang.

if you play drums - go join in..!! it'll be great. they're attempt is to put a name in the Malaysians Book of Records..! imagine.. you're part of that big event. dont wait till malaysia is celebrating its 100th year instead. haha..

i'm not sure if a specific theme is required or you can just simply whack but just go for it!

like i said, i dont play any musical instruments at all, but i'll drop by. a few peeps would be playing too.. Altered Frequence, 1am, Unbashed.. John Thomas, Arthur Kam.. [ ok, i admit.. i only know 3 of the names mentioned ]

so.. ready for the drum rolls? ;o)

my wish list

suddenly.. i just thought of listing it again so, i thought of adding to the list.

probably i'm just bored, or i'm extremely broke. but why is it that when you're broke is when you want alot of things as well. well, at least its motivating me a bit. hahaha..

in random order, i want..

1. canon 350d
2. 120Gb notebook
3. cd player for my car
4. ipod nano - cant believe now i feel like wanting it when i used to say this is an anti-sosial device.
5. trench coat
6. maybe a new cupboard
7. a getaway and do absolutely nothing
8. a nice chat over coffee with friends
9. play tennis again
10. have my 3rd piercing
11. go to rain forrest festival
12. scuba dive in labuan - or somewhere there

again.. whether i achieve it this time or not is another issue. for now, i'll just need to make sure i have the cash for it and complete my work before seeing my client later! sigh..

oh.. an interesting combination - jazz meets vocal

song in head: everything - michael buble

hmm..

Useless fact of the day:

50,000 of the cells in your body will die and be replaced with new cells all while you have been reading this sentence‎.


[ updates later.. too sleepy to post something longer ]

a sympathy?

disclaimer : what is posted below is purely my thoughts and my assumptions.

i'm not too sure if he needs to be sympatized or not. but then again, story has it that he was a betrayer, a back-stabber, the one doomed to be destroyed. he was also the one that needs to carry out the 'duty' in order the prophecy may be fulfill.

he is judas iscariot.

i had the discussion the other day with some of my girlfriends while discussing about this portion. he was a tax-collector. he loves money. he brought the pharisees to Jesus and thus, Jesus was caught, cruxified, etc. judas on the other had, got the money that he wanted - 30 silver coins.

so, up to that part, we know that he was the bad guy.

but if we read in Matthew 27, we read that he said 'i have sinned for i have betrayed innocent blood.' and he hangs himself. in the movie 'the passion', they potrayed judas being disturbed by all the little devils and all. well, who wouldnt be in sound mind after realizing that he just betrayed the Son of God.

my conclusion about judas was, what he did is probably no different from what peter did. peter denied Jesus 3 times. [ matthew 10: 32-33 "Whoever acknowledges me before men, I will also acknowledge him before my Father in heaven. But whoever disowns me before men, I will disown him before my Father in heaven. ] but what made peter one of the great apostles after that was, he repented before God after he realized it. judas continued in his wallow-pity-party.

so, that was my conclusion - God is a God of second chances. and that if we repent of our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive them.

but now.. my second thoughts is this verse. "While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name you gave me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled." [ John 17: 12 ]

kinda like.. Jesus knew that judas is going to destruction (ie Hell) even before judas met Him. meaning, he is seriously, bound to destruction.

well, i'm sure there's a reason why he chose judas to be his disciple. i mean, his 12 disciple out of the many thousand people that Jesus could have chose. why did Jesus picked him and yet knew that he is going to be destructed.

at first i though that maybe, Jesus picked him cuz He knew that judas was weak - as in his temptation to money. so, probably Jesus picked him, trained and guided him be stronger when tempted. but.. 'except the one doomed to destruction'.

ultimately.. His thoughts are higher than our thoughts.

[ coffeexified ]

why is it that sometimes we want to do what is wrong when we already know its wrong..? or is it just me..?

unintentional

unintentionally i took 1 whole month off from blogging. now i have 1 missing month in my archive. sigh

seriously unintentional.

[ coffeexified ]

i just thought i'd put up a pic.. something i saw from somewhere, decided to try out myself, learn photoshop [ thank you!! ] and voila.. what do you think? :D

what has happend to me.. well..

1. still cyber-coffeexified at starbucks.
but this time is really for work. sadness. i can be at starbucks really doing work. either that, or i have really lost my focus on what i'm suppose to do. it that time of the season when you've got something to do and more keeps coming. i've already got alot of overdue work and still in the midst of working on them. is time ever enough? of cuz not, thats what i'll say but i'll just submit to time.

2. change of style. still in the process.
no specific reason why i changed style. i just wanted to try something i've been wanting to try for the longest time - short hair. out of it, i've gotten some pretty funny responses:

you look younger! - thats what they tell me when i had longer hair.
you look more lady-like la.. - shorter hair, more lady-like, longer hair, more *what*..?!?
you look fresher.. - i must have been a walking corpse before this.
you just broke-up kah? - this was the ultimate. my friend asked me that cuz she said usually when someone cut her hair short is cuz she just broke up. the only break-up i had was with bank account - temporarily only *grin*

3. the big bang.
yes, my poor blue baby had an accident. shall not get into the mood of arguing whose fault but yes, i knock the person. i had to pay the bigger damage while the uncle's car only had a broken light. well, my poor blue baby had to be in the 'hospital' for a couple of days. i was immobile for awhile and i have forgotten how it feels like to take the train during peak hours. and the wonders of ppl i see on the train. anyway, the big bang kinda blew up all the other worries i have been having the past few days. all the work load, worries of other stuffs. so, the bang made me just chill off again.

4. relief.
in a few months, i'll tell you my big relief. but anyway, ever since i chilled out from my big bang, i manage to re-align myself abit more. think a bit more sensible. made a few friends with the mechanics, too. hahaha. but yea, one load off me. praise God for that.

5. off again!
if i dont blog for the next few days or weeks is cuz i'm still tied up at work.. before i go off to Bangkok for a few days holiday! ahhaha.. when i'm back, its crazy workload again. hopefully i can upload some pics.

[ coffeexified ]

i just met a self-claimed player. not too sure how to respond.

song in head : sweet escape - gwen stefani feat akon

i'm caught

i am at starbucks now.. with my freaking notebook.. doing work, reading blogs, replying emails. what happened to just enjoy my coffee, timeOut, read a physical book?!

must be the revelation i had that i could online there.

argh! what happened!?

[ here's the story ]

i'm at this starbucks after work to get my mails cuz i was in the client's place the whole day. and i need to get some stuff settled before the next day. then as usual, got my coffee, on-ed my notebook and started doing my work. everyone around me also got their notebook on - for work, for discussion, for presentation, for surfing.

one adult came to starbucks - with his coffee and donut. looked around for a place to sit. twitched his mouth cuz there werent any clean table. then he found one. in the midst of all the other table that has notebook on it. i was one of them. he looked around. took a bite of his donut. looked around again as though he was lost in the techie world. finished his food, drank his drink. looked around again - thinking, whats happening. sip again, and another sip. looked around really lost in the crowd. then walked away.

got me to think. am i like the rest or am i like him. do i want to be like the rest or like him. enjoy the time without technology.

i used to wonder how can someone enjoy starbucks and notebook. what a contrary. until i started myself. on the notebook. talking to ppl virtually and not physically. doing my own stuff.

what has become of me..!?

i'm losing my mind.. soon

song in head : wake me up when september ends - greenday

the little things

sometimes, its just the little things..

the smell of freshly baked pastries
the smell of coffee in the morning
email from awaiting person arrives
a short sweet suprise message
an old person in mcd having breakfast
elderly couple holding hands - interlocked
a funny remark in the middle of work
small suprises

that makes you smile. and makes your day.

oh.. another..

just a smile - does the trick too ;o)


song in head : overjoyed - jennifer hudson

only chinese

[ if unable to view - check out here ]

what do you guys think about it? ;o)

the toy

little tim saw on the tv a rider on a bike. he said thats they best thing and he wanted a rider on a bike toy. then one day, his mom brought him to the mall and there, at the far end, little tim got attracted one corner. he quickly ran to the corner and he saw what he wanted - a rider on a bike plastic toy. thats the exact one that i want to have, thought little tim. he wanted it so badly, he asked his mom hoping that she would buy it for him. it was a few dollars, so she agreed to get it.

on christmas morning, like how every little children in the world would rush down to the christmas tree to find their presents, little tim rushed as fast as he could to be the first to open. he found his present and he opened it. it was the exact rider on the bike plastic toy that little tim wanted from the mall he saw the other day. he was jumping up and down, smiling from ear to ear, playing with it as though it was really racing around the house. that was the best present that he has gotten that year.

his older brother, john, went towards him, grabbed the toy from him. looking, inspecting and shaking little tim's precious toy. he pushed the toy back to little tim saying, 'silly you', with a dissapointed tone. 'mom wanted to get you a bigger and better rider toy. but since you insisted that you wanted this silly plastic toy, you've missed out the better one.'

[ story told by my mum.. to ponder. ]

"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters.." psalms 23

whats next?

ever had the feeling that you want to do something but at the same time, donno what to do, how to do but just want to do something?

ever wonder how you can show your mood over just chatting online?

c : how come u like no mood wan?
f : how you know?
c : donno wor.. u sad kah?
f : eh, got alot of work to do, donno which one to do lor.. what you think?
c : i thought u sad... because... u r put into a situation that u don't want... which no one to help or guide... everyone not caring for each other... don't know what happening... no direction... don;t know what to do... want to go but cannot...
c : ada betul ah !!

either my friend knows me really well or it really obvious that i am confused. but anyways, yes.. i am in that position.

sometimes i want to know whats happening, what to anticipate. sometimes i like suprises.

sometimes i think i confuse myself more than i confuse others.

" Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. " Phil 4:6


update : it wasnt that 'time of the month'.. hahaha.. a friend just asked me. and before everyone else does., i tot i'll say it first. :o)


song in head : september - earth, wind & fire

first..

yes, finally i have some time off [ literally ] to do some updates. there are alot of other stuffs that i want to say.. but hmm.. how should i start..

randomly la..

some of the many few [ oxymoron ] pictures that i took at my first overseas mission trip. some details:

venue : andaman seas, border of thailand and myanmar
people : 17 ppl - mixture of young adults and adults
duration : 1 week

ask anyone of us and we've all got our own stories to share. each and everyone of us have a different experience and encounter. let me tell mine.

we prepared ourselves a few weeks [ or is it months ] in advanced, but somehow, i still felt very unprepared for the whole trip. angela and myself had to be in-charge of the children/youth program - which was a challenge to me. well, although i am in the children ministry in church, i'm still clueless with children - especially of different culture, language. they is no speaking england. they speaking moken. we planned from the songs, to the visual aids, to the games. but still, i felt unprepared.

the day that we flew to ranong, and to stay at koh payam, i was nervous. seriously. and not knowing what to do. i just dont know what to do. i stared blankly as we were heading towards the island. where the people were. and when we reached the island, thats when the show begins.

i admit. i do not know how to approach people. i'm more reserved to myself. shy, in other words or introvert. [ somehow, i reckon, there're some of you that are saying 'yea, right!'. believe it! ] the whole day at koh payam, i didnt know what to do. kids were slowly coming out and looking at us curiously. all i did was.. smile.

then some of us walking around the place. talk to some locals. there are some that spoke malay and we found one guy that spoke really good english. still, i didnt know what to do. there were some of the guys that started playing captain ball. despite the language barrier, the moken guys could understand the rules and they played well..! really well..! and the score were really close to each other too.

one of us took out some balloons and we started creating shaped for the balloons. the kids saw and that got them attracted. but it was them that came to us, first. and thats was our first contact.

after the next day, the people recognized us. and the kids came to us. we started to sing some simple thai songs, couple of english songs with actions, and played some games. you can tell when the kids are comfortable with you - they get cheeky. they start playing tricks on you and being very mischevious too. also, they start to sit next to you more and got closer with you. thats when i knew, the barrier is broken.

but too late. we had to go on to the next island. i seriously missed those kids at koh payam. but it was a short visit there. we went to koh rhao. and it was again, the kids that came to us first before we went towards them.

anyway, to cut it short, it was really God that planned the whole itinarary. we may have planned a lot of things, but it was still God's show. all He needed was people that wants to be part of it. it was awesome.

i dont want a temporary encounter and thats it. i want to be able to have a continual encounter as such. but then again, i hate not knowing whats happening. ironic, aye?

well, dont we all?

song in head : ironic - alanis morissette

its a sleevy thing

i have a few things up my sleeves..

i think i'm going to have more..

i thinking of more things to put up..

i think i'll just stick to my watch.

[ my fifth attempt to update my blog ]

let me try to really find time to tell you all what i have been wanting to tell you.. too much to say. i just hope i dont forget them.. *grinning*

at the mean time.. stay coffeexified ;o)

or... maybe..

you could update me about your happenings.. like some that went to kangaroo land, or gotten a new experiences.. hehehehe...

song in head : days go by - keith urban

can hold on..?

yes.. i am still here...

song in head : hold on - wilson philips

keong hee huat chye

wishing everyone 'keong hee huat chye' ;o)

and i will be away for 2 weeks..! yippie..!! away from work...! hahahaha..

gone

gone!

its all gone..!!

everything's gone..!

no use turning back. there's no way for me to turn back. why must i go through this..!?

cant i patch it all back to be normal again..!? can i revert back as how it used to be..!?

must i go through this agony.. its not fair..!!





can i have it back.. please?


btw.. happy valentine's day to all you all

song in head : far away - nickelback

brighter monday blue

just when you thought you knew everything about anything.. there's more.


The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for blood plasma.

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes. [ a real ass ]

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television. [ now, thats encouraging! ]

Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.

The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

The king of hearts is the only king without a mustache. [ clean king? ]

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning. Most dust particles in your house are made from dead skin. [ i'm still sticking to my morning coffee ]

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first "Marlboro Man."

Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

Pearls melt in vinegar.

The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs, but not downstairs.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why. [ something for the muso/sound engineer to ponder! ]

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. [ gross! ]

Richard Millhouse Nixon was the first U.S. president whose name contains all the letters from the word "criminal." The second ? William Jefferson Clinton

And the best for last.....
Turtles can breathe through their butts. [ so, they fart thru their mouth..!?! argh! ]

-[ coffeexifed ]-

just thought of having a brighter monday blue.. well on another note.. chinese new year is around the corner! yippie..!

but then again, what i experienced last year, will repeat itself again. sigh.

song in head : once in a lifetime - keith urban

colourfulness

i always wonder.. can life be more colourful..?

a green eye?

suddenly.. i saw this clip.

its happening and its getting bigger. no doubt that most of us already know about this and it has been informed for the longest time. school children knows about it and adults talk about it. but what is there to be done? what is there to be done about global warming?

as of today:
malaysia : last year, flood striked the nothern of malaysia but the situation was moderate. this year, the flood has strike in johor and has left thousands homeless and 18 death. forecast says that the weather are begining to change for the better. lets just pray that the weather does but if it doesnt, i dont know how many ppl can continue to stay there.

oklahoma : freezing winter storms across the central U.S. plains killed at least 23 people in Oklahoma and snarled transportation across the country's midsection on Wednesday, officials said. read more.

taiwan : underwater earthquake hit and the internet connection was disrupted for almost the whole asia pacific. altho [ thank God ] there wasnt a tsunami like what happened 2 years [ or is 3 ] ago, there was chances it could have happened.

philippines : flood and landslide has hit there and has left many homeless and well, 23 death.

and many more here..

i dont know about the rest of you.. but i'm speechless. sad. scared. many times we would probably say..

left brain : eh.. you saw know about global warming ar.. more serious la
right brain : wahh.. so concern. so greenie. go do something la
left brain : our earth mar, of cuz must concern. if not we die early leh.
right brain : okie lor.. you go do something la
left brain :do what leh? donno la..
right brain : donno then how to do? then how? aiyoh.. come la. we go drink teh tarik first la.. coffee better la.

thats a typical conversation that we would probably have or at least the thought. i have had that thought before. but somehow now i'm a lil more scared.

well, i'm confused now. we are responsible for whats happening, wouldnt you say? but at the same time, the world is developing. new technology and infrastructure taking over. world's population is increasing.

but what can we really do..? for real.. enough about talking and discussing about it and no action.. but now to really do it. to have an action for what we say.

is there really something we can do now..?

[ sorry if it sounded very 'greenie' or factual. but its something i felt when watching it and pondering abt it ]

'we lived in this world and we are going back to where eternity is with God. He created this world for us to stay temporarily. He loaned it to us. are we destroying what is His?'

randomness of random

almost loosing my thought for awhile and dozing off while at work.. eh, i need to relax a bit also la.. help me.

had the best experience in a recent retreat. its a big exposure and eye opener. well, partially during the night cuz i was extremely sleepy. however, learned alot.

been waking up really early these days.. but still dont seem to be able to have enough time to relax before leaving home. and somehow still reach work a lil late.

there's no reason for anything that happens. must there be a reason for everything? if there is.. explain why am i always caught in a jam only to find out there's really no accident or anything after a stretch.

i need sleep.. i need sleep.. i need sleep... badly. listening to jazz or R&B during working hours is not a wise thing to do.

ah.. a lil better already.. as for now.. :) hmm.. now i think i really need to learn how to edit my pictures..

song in head : photograph - nickelback